Oral Warts caused by Genital Warts Virus

Question:

This topic is now closed - this is what you said.
 I have read your posts and the responses from others to you. I have been married for 12 years and have had herpes for 15 years. Then last october I met a man and we carried on a sexual affair for about 6 months. I started having severe itching and went to the dr. She prescribed 2 different creams and nothing helped, in fact the second one was cortisone and made it worse, so she took a biopsy of the itchy area and it came back as genital warts. I was devestated. OMG... what and how am I going to tell my husband?  Obviously I am ashamed, and terribly remorseful for having had the affair in the first place. I have never openly admitted to my husband that I had the affair but I'm sure he knows. He is a wonderful, loving, forgiving man. He was crushed when I told him of the biopsy result and went into a rage for the night. But the next day he came around. He is still loving toward me. When I got my diagnosis my GP did not want to deal with it so she set up an appt for me w/ a gyn.The appt was a month away.. What was I going to do in the meantime? Well thanks to this group I found out that I could start using Aldara and I also asked for lidocaine to deal with the pain and itching. I had to ask for these from my GP even though she did not want to treat me for it. But she wrote the prescriptions anyway. My Gyn appt still isn't for another week yet. In the meantime, my husband and I have not had sex, but we are loving and affectionate. This entire fiasco has made me look at myself and my behavior and ask myself WHY? I have joined a 12-step support group for sex and love addicts, which has helped me come out of denial and it has also shined the light on how much my husband really does love me, but that I could never accept it. I have also started seeing a very good psychologist. My husband is loving me, he asks me if I really do love him and I can honestly say that I have never loved him more than I do now.

I didn't really mean to write a book, but I guess I needed to paint the whole picture to show you that even when we make a huge mistake and there are HUGE consequences that this is an opportunity to learn and grow. The losses are great but we also get a lot out of our suffering.

You said you feel dirty. SO DO I.  I fight the thoughts that this will last forever, that nothing will get better, that I will never get to have sex with my husband again. But deep down I don't believe that. I believe that it will get better, that I will have sex again with my husband, that something good IS going to come of this.

I told my affair partner right away about my diagnosis and he was cool about it.. but said he wanted more information. I have no idea if he gave this to me, I suspect the answer is yes, but the dr. did tell me that this is something that I could have had for years and didn't have any symptoms until now. But I guess I find that hard to digest. It doesn't really matter anymore to me.

As for telling your previous lovers, in my opinion you should just let it go. From what I'm reading about HPV it is very widespread and men can have it without knowing and pass it on to all of their lovers without knowing it. It's too much of a burden for you to worry about the past.

I don't know how old you are, but I know that if you work on your inner happiness, no matter what is going on with your hpv, you will exude your happiness and draw men to you who are also confident, loving, mature men who can handle this. I would not tell any men you are dating that you have it, not until there is a man you love and he loves you, then is the time to sit down and tell him about it and be prepared to give him a lot of information.

I wish you every happiness in the world, please practice self love, you need it right now. And surround  yourself with loving and supportive people.